My Oldest Son, Michael, was born today March 30th 1983. Most Father’s relate the birth of their child is quite traumatic on them ,and Oh My how well everything went. Mine was a nightmare. Definitely one of the most ten worst days of my life.

I was a Captain and Family Doctor in the United States Air Force. The Air Force had graciously paid for my medical school, and I was repaying my obligation as a physician.

My Wife, Diane, joined me in a 3 year stent at WurtSmith AFB in Michigan. WurtSmith was considered a remote base as the nearest shopping mall was more than 100 miles away. We were stationed in Oscoda MI. Oscoda is a town about 1 mile long with the East Border on Lake Huron. Lake Huron is always cold and nearly Frozen. Nobody swims there but the fishing is awesome. One year, Ice fishing, I fell through the ice and survived but that is for another post. Michael was not conceived when Diane and I entered the Air Force in 1980 and she became friends with some of the other Doctors and Physician Assistants (PA) that staffed the hospital at the Base. The hospital was small. Maybe 20-30 beds with a few nurses and many airmen who served as orderlies. The orderlies generally had no medical experience and I would love to transgress the story line and tell you about a Foley catheter removed without letting the balloon down, but again perhaps later.  I worked in the Family medical unit and saw Active service and their family for run of the mill problems. Dr James Young was a Captain and Board Certified Family Doctor of the Clinic and Diane saw him and trusted him She was Pregnant in our last year there and she decided she wanted Dr Young to Deliver the child. Well great. Our First Daughter, Kimberly, was already three years old. She was 8′ 3 ounces and basically walked out without any difficulty. Labor was a few hours and no problems at all. So here I am a physician and my wife wants a Family Doctor to deliver the baby. Should be a breeze. Hell Goats deliver in the field every day! We did at that time have two Obstetricians, but no Diane wants Jim Young MD.

Well the day arrived. Nothing unusual having some contractions.

We enter the Hospital and Jim Young MD comes in and everything is progressing well. He thinks the baby will be large but no problems. Understand I am a ‘Doctor’ , but I finished Medical School and only one year of an Internal Medicine Residency. I was planning on finishing my training in Surgery after the Air Force. I was qualified to treat the run of the mill family practice issue but not remove an appendix or fix a hernia or deliver a baby.

Well time passes and Diane is fully dilated and time for Michael to come out. She is trying for hours and is clearly completely exhausted despite her young age. The baby is stuck. Now the fetal monitors start flashing RED. DECELERATIONS, MECONIUM PRESENT REACHING CRITICAL LEVELS!!!

I’m standing there helpless, wondering how I could be this Stupid, not to be in the best place in the world for my baby to be born as a physician I should have known better!

Decelerations means the heart rate of the baby is dangerously low and  the baby is low on oxygen and dying. Meconium is fetal poop that the baby releases into the amniotic water when it is dying.

I’m standing there looking at this when Dr Young looks at me and asks, “John, Do you know how to put Forceps on the baby?! I step back and yell, NO I DON’T! I HAVE NEVER DONE THAT!

Fortunately, a young airman by the name of Airman Banks was nearby. Dr Young told him to “Go Find Dr Lawrence the Obstetrician and tell him we have an emergency.” Airman Banks left the room and was gone some time. I was babbling against the wall in shock at my stupidity. Finally Airman Banks came back in the room and walked up to Dr Young. A few seconds passed and nothing was said and then Dr Young inquired if he had found Dr Lawrence. He replied “No, but I left a note on his desk. ”

I did fall against the wall and ran out to the ER desk which was nearby. I grabbed a microphone and called overhead that Dr Lawrence was needed in the OR STAT STAT STAT!

Fortunately Dr Lawrence was there and came and had the baby out in about 30 seconds. The initial Apgars where zippity dodah but the second set was much better and Dr Lawrence had saved the lives of Michael and Diane despite the stupidity of the Father.

Michael is now turning 34 and has 3 brilliant sons and a beautiful wife and he is an Electrical Engineer.

Happy Birthday Michael!

Love

Dad